Paris or Prague ?....

Neither. Hubby's training is now postponed to June (he will be leaving in 3 weeks) and in the end we decided to just cancel the whole trip. No particular reason. We both got caught up with work and various other things that it turned out better to just stay at home and enjoy each other's company instead. In all honesty, I was more excited about having him at home in February till June rather than me being alone that month (I was still emotionally recovering from the miscarriage and Grandma's passing then).

From that, I realized that what matters most is being together. Whether it is in Paris, Prague or just Miri. :)

The Little Things

I came across these few short clips on the importance of family while watching a movie in Singapore and thought that this is well worth sharing...it made me cry in the cinema.

Remembering Grandma and Our Heritage

During a recent trip to Singapore to visit my brother and sis in law over the Wesak long weekend, my brother passed a collection of DVDs to me of a series called The Little Nyonya. He said that I have to watch it, it will make me realize what I am and what I should be.
It is a local production by Mediacorp TV Singapore on the story of a Peranakan family. Since it is almost unheard of for my brother to actually sit through 34 episodes of chinese drama, I was curious to find out why.
The amount of research on the Baba and Nyonya culture that went into the making of the series was truly remarkable. After sitting through the first episode of the series, I could understand why my brother insisted I watch this. It reminded him so much of our upbringing at home, of our maternal Peranakan side. The daily lives depicted in the series were so real, so familiar. I could not help but feel a slight tightening of the chest, trying to stop the sudden onslaught of emotion.
My brother said, we take who we are so much for granted. We do not realize all the painstaking years Ah Mah and Mom spent trying to bring us up as good Peranakan children. Now, one might wonder, how does that differ from our peers?

I used to feel that I was treated unfairly at home. Why? Because as a child, I was not allowed this, and that. Especially Ah Mah, she would knock my head and tell me;

I must not walk with giant steps
I must not stamp my feet - we lived in a wooden house; when I am walking upstairs I must not make a single sound with my feet
I must not speak too loud
I must never yell
I must never be rude, always be polite and always address the elders correctly - Ee Por, Ah Kor, Ah Chim.... I truly did not understand what all the difference were
I must not ever sit with my legs apart, up on the chair nor crossed my legs on the floor. I must always sit with both legs to one side
I must close doors and not make a single sound. Slamming the door (either by purpose or by accident) will earn me a painful 'cubit' (painful pinch)
I must not hit the wok or any pots/pans with a spoon or any utensil and make a loud clanking noise. It is not ladylike
I must not chew with my mouth opened nor speak with food in my mouth
I must not ever talk back to my elders nor ever raise my voice to them. My parents are considered always right no matter what happens

So I went to school and I saw how other children could run and play and scream their hearts out. Mom and Ah Mah would tell me, it was not lady-like. The good girl in me then would not retaliate or disagree. But the rebel in me looked at things differently and I favored my brother's toys and playing with his friends instead. That was the only way I could 'do things the way I like'.

At last, we grew up, Ah Mah and Mom , did not need to constantly nag at us no more. All the years of rules stuck in my head. It now aggravates me when a door is slammed, or someone chews noisily or I hear a utensil being hit loudly against the wok to remove food that is stuck to its surface. It absolutely isn't acceptable at all when someone noisily moves things around in the kitchen - plates, containers.....
My brother, on the other hand, is probably the most loving of all sons. I am so proud of how he would, without further thought, rush to the family's aid in all situations. Like myself, he is also extremely close to our parents and Ah Mah.
I truly am enjoying watching the Nyonya series. It brings back so many memories, good and bad. It makes me feel a tad guilty for all the good Nyonya recipes that mom had taught me, but I rarely replicate. Sitting next to Hubby watching the show, and him seeing my culture for what it truly is for the first time (he's not Peranakan), I realize just how much I take it for granted.

Well, I think I am going to try my best, again, to be the good Nyonya daughter and grand-daughter that mom and Ah Mah had wanted me to be.

Our family home in Alor Setar, where we grew up
Ceramic water container with dragon motifs; little treasures from our ancestors

Ah Mah and one of our Kor Por

Ah Mah, in her fine Nyonya kebaya and sarung. It was the only outfit she wore daily from as long as I could remember. While the designs were simpler and more plain while at home, she wore exquisite embroidered kebayas when on outings, complete with hair in a perfect chignon and pins.

Road Trip!

Hubby and I decided to relive our days of road tripping to Kota Kinabalu from Miri this coming Gawai. We'll have a week off from work then, before Hubby flies off for a 5-week course in the Netherlands (boo-hoo!!).

In about 2 weeks, we will be off, this time in a more comfortable ride. The previous two trips we drove my humble little mini car Kelisa. This time, we can take the Vios instead. Yay yay! I am brimming with excitement of what to pack, where to stop and all the quiant towns we will be passing by. It is going to be great... packed meals in the car, the ice box stocked with drinks and stopping by unknown little food shops. Brilliant ! I cannot wait!

Living in Heat

Contrary to what the title of this post suggests, the situation I am currently in is far from desirable....

The Miri heat wave and haze is back after 2 or more years in hibernation. Oh gosh.. earlier at the beginning of the year, it was the never-ending downpour. And now, the days are so so hot while the nights are stuffy and extremely hazy. One can actually sit and watch smoke swirl underneath the glare of the street lamps!!

I suppose this is what we have to endure living in a place with ample land all around. In normal times, it will be lush green. On the other hand, times like this - a simple flick of a burning cigaratte butt will set a whole area going up in flames. Sigh...when will the next rainy season come....

Random Bits of Info

1. I have Siamese blood from Grandpa and very proud of it
2. My mom used to be EXTREMELY strict with me as a child (think caning and slapping and pinching) but I think I am a better person because of that
3. I wished I had a sister
4. I have no idea how my parents met or when they got married.
5. I am secretly pleased I have dimples (and hope my children will get them too!)
6. I LOOOVVVVVVVVVVEEE eating carbs - potatoes in particular. How the heck will I be able to stay trim when my metabolism goes downhill ???!
7. I like collecting mugs - for no particular reason
8. Untidiness drives me nuts
9. I still miss my late Grandma. I regret not hugging her during my wedding :(
10. I hate the way my hair grows out of shape within days after a trim
11. I wonder why I have hair like barb wire when mom has such a fine silky mane
12. I have such a wild imagination - I wonder if I am normal
13. I had 4 volumes of personal journals written in coded language when I was 12 ( I have no idea how to read them now )
14. I am unable to sleep with my toes exposed
15. I like small stuffy spaces
16. I shamefully cannot drive a manual car anymore since I got my automatic vehicle
17. I am afraid of my parents aging and I do not know how to live without them
18. I am missing a tooth from my upper right gum
19. I am sometimes terrified that I do not have a career path in my mind!
20. I wish hubby would fold my laundry for me because I hate doing that

...to be continued...

Things to be Thankful For

I have been miserable sometimes in the current few months of trying (and failing) to conceive. Then yesterday, all of a sudden, it occured to me that beyond that bubble of gloom that I live in occasionally now, I still have so many other things to remind me that my life is still very much blessed.

1. I have a job. And steady income.
2. I have a (more than) comfortable home, and it totally belongs to Hubby and myself.
3. My parents are well, happy and I am able to provide them with the best things in life.
4. I have such a wonderful husband who takes such good care of me.
5. I am living life with no regrets so far.
6. I have so many good friends - from kindergarden, primary school, ex-workplace, current workplace....
7. I have been having good-face days for months - probably from all the junk that I am NOT eating lately
8. I have been to Loch Ness
9. I have an Ipod
10. I actually like (most) people I work with

So, I guess I need to slap myself sometimes, and remind myself not to sulk too much. If one thing does not turn out right (yet), there may be 10-25 others that are worth smiling for.