Growing Older, But Not Yet Wiser?

I will be blardy 32 years old this year!

I am using eye cream for wrinkle control that has a 3-digit price tag, I started watching carbohydrate intake (Kill me....) for fear of weight gain due to potentially sloppy metabolism rate, I started thinking about retirement homes (London, French Riviera or Bagan Serai-Penang?) and my aging parents (God please bless them with good health). But for all the grown-up things that I am doing, I fear I still look at the world through adolescent eyes.

I wonder if my reluctance to accept the way of the world will ruin me one day. For instance, at work, I refuse to believe that things cannot be done if one does not dabble in office politics. I acknowledge its existance, as a separate business entity that I may or may not participate in. But I still believe things do work out if one is an honest, hardworking and smart employee. I think being responsible and knowing one's trade will eventually get things through. I do not like pushing blame around. It drives me nuts. I think simply owning up to mistakes and fixing it works better than trying to find a cover up. No? I only recently stood up and submitted the paper for my promotion to the next job level, simply because now I know I deserve it. It makes me uncomfortable when people tell me, I should ask for it because I should. But I couldn't do it if I know I did not deserve it. Yes I know. I am such an idiot.

I still believe good things happen to good people. And every person has a reason, for all the evil things that they do. I cannot remain annoyed with someone simply because it takes up too much effort to be angry. It is more tiring to dislike someone that to like someone. Life is short. Why waste it, hmm? If I do not like something, I must change it. If I cannot, I have to learn to live with it and manipulate it to my advantage. Complaining isn't going to help and will only make me upset. No?

Idealist, they call me. I say I am just happy being me. For as long as I can keep it up. No?